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Our marriage is 20 years old, there is a daughter. There was everything – both good and bad, as in any relationship. The husband tries to take care, treats me well when I ask-he says that he still loves. But recently I found out that he has love on the side. That woman is also married, lives in another country, they see very rarely, mostly communicate online. Should I tell my husband that I know everything? I’m afraid this can destroy our relationship. But how to stop thinking about her? And what can it threaten me in the future?

The situation, of course, is very unpleasant. Naturally, you think about that woman and cannot stop at all. She attracts your husband, takes

his attention and time. How long it appeared? What could provoke her appearance in your husband’s life?

What is your relationship with your spouse? You write that your husband is trying, it treats you well, but how you feel about him? How you express your love if it is still? How often you talk heart to heart, discuss feelings, problems, events? How close you are spiritually and physically? Do you say tender words to each other, hug whether you?

Often men start novels on the side to satisfy needs that are not satisfied in marriage. If a husband often communicates with another woman (even online), then he shares something with her, discuss something, listen to him and understands him. You often talk with your husband, you know about his problems, you can support, are interested in his mood? All these nuances are very important to understand in order to predict the consequences of a possible conversation.

Needless to tell your husband that you know about his relationship, you decide. First of all, you yourself should figure out what you want to achieve such a conversation. Of course, after him, relations in the family will change, both you and your husband will have to make a decision.

Try first answer the questions that I asked above. Perhaps the atmosphere in the family will be able to change. You are still young and can revive warmth and tenderness, love and understanding in relations with a loved one. The husband does not leave – it means that it values marriage. What about you: do you have feelings for your husband – or do you live out of habit? What do you want from marriage, how comfortable both of you are, what can be changed so that the third is no longer standing between you?